Fuck Being Green

Fuck being "green." But yes! to easy, realistic solutions that fit my busy ADD life.

Being green is great and all, but there's no way in hell you're going to stop global warming, fight the oil mafia and save the whales all at the same time. It's about time we redefine what being green means. For ourselves and on our own, easy, not-trying-to-be-the-next-Al-Gore terms. Rock.

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You, Too, Can Have a Face Transplant!

While the world swoons over Connie Culp and the Cleveland Clinic’s miraculous face transplant (that saved her from the hoards of evil, heckeling children that laughed at the fact the poor woman had everything between her eyes and chin ripped to shreads by a bullet), YOU, my friend, can get yourself a similar treatment, too! And on the cheap! And oh-so-green-ly!

Republished from: Associated Content

Vitamin E Facelift Mask for Normal to Dry Skin

This facelift mask will make your face feel like a million bucks, but you certainly won’t go broke. Purchase vitamin E gel capsules at a discount dollar store, and you’ll save money on this easy facelift mask.

You’ll need 1/4 cup of heavy whipping cream, one medium size banana, and one vitamin E gel capsule. Simply peel and mash the banana, pierce the vitamin E gel capsule, and squeeze the contents into the mixture. Stir the mixture until it is well blended, and spread it on your face, neck, and throat. Allow the mask to penetrate your skin for about fifteen minutes while relaxing. Remove the mask with a washcloth and warm water, and pat your face with an absorbent towel. Your skin will feel fabulous.

Lemon Facelift Mask for Oily Skin

If you have oily skin and are in need of an instant facelift, this mask is for you. You’ll need a fresh lemon, one egg, four tablespoons of powdered milk, and one tablespoon of witch hazel. Squeeze the lemon juice into a blender, and add the remaining ingredients. Blend the mixtureuntil it is well combined and smooth. Apply the mixture to your face, neck, and throat. Leave the mask on for about fifteen minutes, and use the leftover mixture along with warm water and a wash cloth to remove the mask. Your skin will feel smooth, soft, oil-free, and simply sensational.

Hemorrhoid Cream for the Face? (not really green, but, whatever)

Did you know that cream made to treat hemorrhoids is great for the face? If you have fine lines, wrinkles, or bags beneath your eyes, try applying a little hemorrhoid cream. Hemorrhoid cream not only shrinks hemorrhoidal tissues, but it also does a great job of temporarily shrinking puffiness beneath the eyes, and it helps decrease fine lines, and wrinkles.

If you’re in need of an instant facelift, give these homemade face masks a try, and follow up by applying hemorrhoid cream to fine lines, puffy skin, and wrinkles. You’ll get an instant facelift for a fraction of the cost of surgery or expensive products, masks, and creams.

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